The winner of iwiLetter’s Rejection Letter writing contest has been chosen…and they’ve Won a new 80GB iPod! Congratulations, Elizabeth O., you are the new Shakespeare of Rejection Letters!
iwiLetter.com’s Certified Rejection Letter Specialist Judges looked at the wall of submissions, uttered an explative and walked out of the building. Tempted back with the promise of glory and cocktails, they began their task, carefully pouring over each entry to choose a winner. It wasn’t easy, there was name calling and thumb-biting, but the judges have spoken.
Dear Dude in the Sweater Vest,
Difficult though this may be for you to comprehend, I am not sexually excited by listening to you talk at length about your salary.
Before you arrived I was (somewhat) seriously and (mostly) diligently doing legal research between classes. I have now spent the past 30 minutes listening to your self-satisfied moronic chuckles, your repeated proclamations that you can’t believe they are paying you this much at the new firm, and not-so-subtle references to hedge funds.
If I actually hear you reference the “family name” again, I may vomit.
As you appear to be roughly six-foot, I can only imagine that you are overcompensating for reasons unrelated to your height.
If something about my behavior has led you to believe that I am engaged in this conversation, let me assure you that this is do merely to some misinterpretation on your part. If I appear to be enjoying myself, this is only because, as you may have noticed, my laptop is still open and my friends (they’re sitting on that couch just there, see them?) are making fun of you on instant message.
No, I am not interested in getting a drink. Shockingly, my weekend is absolutely packed. Moreover, I make a point of avoiding that bar you just suggested.
Also, I’m afraid that you lack the requisite sense of irony needed to rock that sweater vest, and I’m going to have to ask that you not do so in the future.
Hugs & kisses,
Congratulations, Elizabeth! You’ve won the contest and a new 80GB iPod – what are you going to do next? Might we suggest you go the Eli Manning route and go to Disneyworld?